There’s a lot here.
I appreciate that you’re trying to preserve the privacy of other users including your wife. You may have reasons for doing what you’re doing with multiple containers, but it’s not a privacy choice. The fact that you can set these containers up in the first place suggests that you are in an administrative role and that you have the ability to grant processes the rights to see this data. If you really wanted to see it yourself, you’d just sudo. I’m just pointing this out because performative privacy isn’t actual privacy. The multi-container approach you’re using is creating complexity but isn’t really changing the fundamental privacy calculus of your system.
When your wife or your friends put content on a system that you administer, they are accepting that the human administrator of the service can see their content if they really want to. You can sudo on the system and you can also even access their backups. This may still net out for you such that yo want to run multiple containers each with a different privacy model. But you may find that if it is truly performative, then you’d be better off just deploying one instance of Duplicati and one of Syncthing.
If you really want to run multiple of each, though, have you tried running them as your wife’s account, your account, etc? In other words, if the model you want is one Duplicati and one Syncthing each, for both you and your wife, then have you tried deploying the pair such that they use your user/group as the PUID/PGID for your pair and her user/group for her pair?
Regarding chown in linuxserver containers. I’m not sure who you spoke to at linuxserver or what they told you. This is a pretty good, though high level, primer on how containers start up:
Note the comment “s6 iterates through our init scripts setting up users, configuring folders and permissions, and anything else the application we’re running needs”.
This is a reference to the work done by the linuxserver base image in fix-attrs.d. That’s a core component of the s6 system and it does what you’re seeing.
You shouldn’t trust me on this. You can go to Google or your favorite AI and type this:
”When starting a linuxserver container, is it typical for the container’s config folder to be chowned to the user-specified PUID/PGID?” Please do this. I think it will confirm what I’ve said.
I’m very much just trying to help.