All Syncthing sync connections are encrypted with TLS, authenticated with the device ID (certificate fingerprint), regardless of whether the connection is over LAN, WAN or relay.
Just remember that a synchronized copy is not the same as “backup”. Consider the day your NAS is hit by ransomware and the encrypted files are propagated to your friend’s NAS as well. I recommend a dedicated backup tool instead. Maybe Restic.
I have many devices all syncing to my NAS. And then I have a single backup job daily from the NAS (via restic) to an offsite storage location. So all the devices are backed up offsite with one job.
I figured if you could forward a VPN port you could forward a syncthing port to avoid the relay. Don’t think routing through the VPN and double encrypting would be faster. Depending on the VPN it may not impose a penalty. But faster I don’t really see.
I don’t expose the Tailscale port — the agent does some really slick stuff to get direct connections through NAT. It’s faster than a relayed connection but not faster than a direct Syncthing connection.